Passion and Pressure

I was eleven years old - naive, and filthy rich.

Back at my old church, my church mates even nicknamed me "The Rich Kid." Sure, I wouldn't deny that I had plenty of money then, but it definitely pissed me off to be addressed like that. Turned out they were just after the cash, not friendship.

Three years later, I was still stuck in that church and I just couldn't take everything and everyone - filthy back stabbers, etc.. Miraculously, (he) invited called and invited me to this church that is, fortunately, a five-minute drive away from my house. I knew that convincing my parents to leave my "home" church would be tremendously hard, no doubt about that. Thankfully, after thinking it out, they told me was what matters most was where I was happy, and where I belonged.

Finally, freedom to befriend anyone - since I am completely aware that none of the youth in my new church supported thievery and back stabbing!

After a few weeks, attending in PCF made me reach the extent of euphoria. This was where I served my Savior by playing the bass guitar in the youth band once a month. Everything was so perfect.

Not until last last week. I found out that (he) was chosen to be the praise and prayer youth leader. I was totally pissed off, honestly. Bearing in mind that it was I, who taught (him) everything about my favorite instrument, and (he) gets the glory? I felt like Usher (yes, the one who sang "Love In This Club" or "Let It Burn") who was defeated by his student Justin Beiber in the charts. Of course, I should've felt proud, but, I felt like being in this church was my chance to shine (not the money) - to be crowned the title "leader" for the praise field, which I thought I deserved.

Then I realized my motives were wrong, very wrong indeed. I observed (him) play the bass just to decipher WHY THE HELL they picked (him) instead of me - and that was because of (his) passion. And this "passion," I never possessed upon playing my instrument. I got obsessed instead in finding what I can do so well and to hone the skill more - and make myself known for it. I was searching my way into a title that tells those people that I can also be loved for who I am and what I can do; not what I have.

Now I am so absorbed in my thoughts on what I'm passionate about. As of now, I am definitely clueless. To seek and acuminate it is my goal. Someday I would be a leader like the rest of them (in the right motive this time).

All for my Savior.